Deuce12

Scared

I'm reading a book, Scared, right now by Tom Davis.  This book is speaking to me in ways that I had not imagined when I first picked it up.  It's the story of a little girl and a photographer and how their lives intertwine.  Amazing book.  

Adonna, the little girl, is about 10 years old, yet life has dealt her the experiences of an old woman.  She vigorously writes in a journal and one of her entries is a poem.  

In the darkest places of the night 

my soul, once so forlorn, is finally free.

For I have found a Love who is the Light; 

He gave my stolen virtue back to me. 

He walks with me though trials and troubles stay, 

And death and demons hover all around, 

But greater is the Love that dwells in me 

And fiercer is the Friend that I have found. 

I shall not fear the waning of the day, 

nor bear the shame of an evil father’s whim 

The Sky-Maker illuminates my way. 

There is no guilty stain on me in Him.

After reading these words I realized how short-sighted and self-centered my mind can be.  A new meaning was brought to the word relationship.  "And death and demons hover all around and fiercer is the love that dwells in me and fiercer is the friend that I have found."  Sometimes it is so easy for me to forget.  Sometimes it is so easy for me to get caught up in the daily trials of life.  Sometimes it is so easy for me to forget what exactly Jesus did for me.  Sometimes it is so easy for me to forget the overwhelming love of a Savior.  Sometimes it is so easy to forget the healing forgiveness of the crimson flow.  

"there is no guilty stain on me in him."  

I'm so thankful for the forgiveness of a father who loves me even when I forget the truth of his love.

Where's that draft coming from...

Blogs don't like me.  At least some times.  I had this beautiful blog done.  I was so proud of it.  Pictures and everything. And then.....BAM, my browser shutdown.  So, I re-opened it, and BAM, it did it again.  We went though this cycle about 4 times.  Then, the auto-save function no longer auto-saved it and, alas, it was no more.  Oh well.  So................. here's the new blog completely different than the other one and on entirely a different subject.

Last week my mama and sister were here.  We saw quite a few interesting, to say the least, things. I think my mama brings the crazy out in people. One example of crazy is below this word.

 

(sorry for the size difference, oh well)

This lady was shopping and I managed, with my covert operations camera skills, to get a couple of pictures of her.  I'm not sure these pictures even do her justice.  She had on these crazy motorcycle glasses and was wearing them over a beanie with ear muffs on top.  The funny thing is that she's not a kid or anything.  This was a full grown, probably in her forties, woman.  She was a force to be reckoned with I tell ya.

The next story I tell you is one of a little different sort. 

(due to the nature of this content no pictures are attached)

It was a brisk Thursday afternoon with approximately 60 degree weather and a little rain every now and then.  We were walking down the street when coming towards us was a man.  He was probably in his 40's or so.  He was dressed in a white button down dress shirt and black dress pants and black dress shoes.  However, there was something a little, um, shall we say off, with his outfit.  As he's walking toward me I noticed that his pants were unzipped.  I also noticed that he was not wearing any underwear.  No boxers. No titey Whitey's. Nada.  Full commando.  The pants weren't just unzipped. They were spread eagle.  And there it was.  Just sticking out of his pants for the world to see.  I looked at Emily and could tell she didn't see it.  But when I looked at Mama, it was ever so apparent that she did see it.  Her face will be forever etched into my memory. At first, I thought he didn't know.  And I felt a good bit of sincere pity for the man, but when we started discussing him, I was informed that there is no way he didn't know because of how cold it was outside.  My pity turned to disgust rather quickly.  I've actually thought of lots of jokes that could  go here, but I am pretty sure they would be rather inappropriate, so I have refrained.  Aren't you proud?  = )

This man most definitely reminded me that I'm not in South Georgia any more!!  Like I said, my mama brings out the crazy.

Getting there

Though I have not seen him, my heart knows him well.  These words have been echoing over and over in my head.  They are from a song off of the new Hillsong album.  These words adequately describe a relationship that I oftentimes have a terribly difficult time of expressing.  Right now, I am living completely outside of the christian "bubble."  Some people I talk to have the impression that I am "living it up in NYC."  I find this strange.  It's weird to me how people automatically assume that just because something has changed that you are off doing the "devil's work."  Living outside of this bubble has been a very difficult and trying thing for me at times, while at others, it has truly been a blessing.  The past few months have truly been a time of soul searching and learning first hand of the darkness of the world.  I have met people from all walks of life. Most of those walks being completely different from my own.  I am so thankful for these people.  They have rekindled a fire within me.  This fire has most definitely come at a price, but a price well worth paying.  

1 Peter 1:6-9 (the message) says, "I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime.  Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine.  When Jesus wraps all of this up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.  You never saw him, yet you love him.  You still don't see him, yet you trust him...."

Although I complain and I have pity parties and I don't understand what God is doing in and through me I am so thankful that he is making me pure.  I am thankful for the aggravation.    

Though I have not seen him, my heart knows him well.  Jesus Christ the Lamb, the Lord of heaven.  

Tis so sweet

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

Rock the Cradle

“When we restore one child, the effect does not stop with that one child; the effect of restoration could be exponential, because that one child would want to restore others. There is a saying that “The hand that rocks the cradle moves the world.”  
I believe that when we repair the broken cradle, we rebuild the world.” 
– Dr. G. Velazco

Just as I am

Just as I am, without one plea
But that thy blood was shed for me
And that thou bidd’st me come to thee
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am and waiting not
To rid my soul of one dark blot,
To thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fightings and fears within, without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind;
Sight, riches, healing of the mind,
Yea, all I need, in thee to find,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, thou wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
Because thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just a I am; thy love unknown
Has broken every barrier down;
Now to be thine, yea, thine alone,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Love 146

I just watched a movie that has renewed a fire in me for a cause that is very near to my heart.  Trade is about a little girl from Juarez Mexico.  She is taken and becomes another statistic in the human trafficking industry.  Many people are completely unaware of this very lucrative industry that is alive and growing in the US.  Approximately 100,000 girls, boys, and women are brought into the US each year to be sold as sex slaves. It is estimated that 2 children are sold every minute.  The UN believes that approximately 1.2 million children are trafficked each year. Experts estimate that the total market value of illicit human trafficking at roughly $32 billion.  This makes trafficking the second most lucrative crime in the world.  It is estimated that at least 27 million people are currently enslaved around the world.  This is more than double the number of Africans enslaved during the Trans-Atlantic slave trade.  Over the past several months there is a growing awareness in the media of this horrendous industry.  I first became aware of it a couple of years ago through an organization named Love146.  I strongly encourage everyone to look at their website (www.love146.org)  Everyone can do something to make a difference.  

It breaks my heart thinking of what these children have to go through.  Many of them aren't even 6 years old yet, and they are forced to do horrific acts.  I don't understand how anyone could do these things especially to a child.  While it breaks my heart, I can't become apathetic in my concern.  What good is it to know about human trafficking and do nothing?  It doesn't matter if it brings me to tears to think about it, if that's all it does.  I must be moved to action.  

The people we remember in history who brought about change always saw the world as it was, but they also saw what it could be.  They recognized the injustices around them and chose to do something about it.   They weren't in denial of their current circumstances, but they embraced their circumstances and figured out a way to change reality.  One of my favorites is William Wilberforce.  He was an abolitionist during the 1700-1800's.  He was an amazing man.  He devoted his entire life to the abolishment of slavery.  Amazing Grace is a great movie depicting his life.  He was a man who lived by his convictions, and in turn, the world was changed. 

To be a person who lives by my convictions and refuses to remain apathetic in the comfort of my American lifestyle is what I long to be.  I am a Christian.  I love Jesus dearly.  But his word says, what good is it to love him in words or tongue but not actions?  How can I claim to love Jesus if my lifestyle does nothing to show his love to those who need it most?  

One day.......

Two seeds lay side by side in the fertile soil.

The first seed said, "I want to grow! I want to send my roots deep into the soil beneath me, and thrust my sprouts through the earth's crust above me ... I want to unfurl my tender buds like banners to announce the arrival of spring ... I want to feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the blessing of the morning dew on my petals!"

And so she grew...

The second seed said, "Hmmmm. If I send my roots into the ground below, I don't know what I will encounter in the dark. If I push my way through the hard soil above me I may damage my delicate sprouts ... what if I let my buds open and a snail tries to eat them? And if I were to open my blossoms, a small child may pull me from the ground. No, it is much better for me to wait until it is safe."

And so she waited...

A yard hen scratching around in the early spring ground for food found the waiting seed and promptly ate it.

I've decided that having goals in life are really the only way that I ever get anything accomplished.  Sure stuff randomly gets done, but for the most part I have to realize that I want to do something before I do it.  I have to make it a priority or I will continually put it off until the tomorrow that never comes.  One example of this is reading.  I used to always say that I wanted to read, but never actually did it.  Then one day I decided that I was going to read at least one book a month.  I wrote it down so that I could see it and then I did it.  Now I read all the time.  I know that the latter part of May is a random time to start prioritizing and taking inventory of your life and what it is as of late, but the latter part of May is exactly when I'm doing it.  Over the next few months I hope to be changing some things about Lori and the best way for me to get this done is to write the goals down and put em up for the world (or at least me) to see.  

I've come to realize that the older I get the faster time seems to go by.  I have to take advantage of the opportunities I have and if I don't like the ones I've got, then I have to find a way to make opportunities happen.  I don't want to always put things off until tomorrow.  If I do, sooner or later I'm gonna wake up and be 72 years old and wonder what happened with my life and where did it go.  I don't want to wait and wait and wait.  Even if there is the possibility of it hurting I must be willing to put myself out there and go after what I want.  It takes discipline and hard work, but, like they say, everything in life worth anything is hard work.  

I don't want to be eaten by a yard hen.

Maybe.

One day, the farmer's horse ran away, and all the neighbors gathered in the evening and said ‘that’s too bad.’ He said ‘maybe.’ Next day, the horse came back and brought with it seven wild horses. ‘Wow!’ they said, ‘Aren’t you lucky!’ He said ‘maybe.’ The next day, his son grappled with one of these wild horses and tried to break it in, and he got thrown and broke his leg. And all the neighbors said ‘oh, that’s too bad that your son broke his leg.’ He said, ‘maybe.’ The next day, the conscription officers came around, gathering young men for the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. And the visitors all came around and said ‘Isn’t that great! Your son got out.’ He said, ‘maybe.’

You never know what is coming around the corner.  Take the good with the bad and know that God is in control of each situation.  Trust him.  Take each day as it comes and don't worry about what you can't control.  Do the best you can with what you have.  Acknowledge the Lord in all your ways and he will direct your paths...... the hard part is trusting him enough to follow that path.  

Safety First

I saw 2 little boys running down the sidewalk the other day and this 3rd boy was trailing behind him.  The first 2 boys were having a lot of fun and totally enjoying themselves, the 3rd boy looked a little more cautious as though he weren't too sure about it.  Then bringing up the back was the babysitter.  The 2 ran a little more ahead and the 3rd boy told them they should come back and got this panicked look.  Then he turned to the babysitter and yelled "don't they know they can get robbed and taken!!!!"  It struck me as really funny.  I can just picture this kids parents sitting there and drilling into his head that he shouldn't go off alone because someone is going to take him.  Its  very valid point, but it was funny.